Depression In SparkNotes

Smile. My midnight insides refuse to illuminate. Through thunderous thoughts, positivity whimpers. In strained prayers to a silent God, I plead for help. But Smile. Smile. Counting my blessings in the hope they will fill the gaping voids inside me, I do not reveal that I am made of mesh. No, I smile, Spin sinking thoughts into hopeful soliloquies As I use my hollow sides as an amplifier. How hypocritical I feel, This false idol, No more than a Faberge Egg. I smile, When you see this grin, Know it is the marquis for a body that wakes to hopelessness at dawn, Spends all-nighters with deafening depression, As if we were conjoined twins and only one of us can survive. I want to write, Soar lyrics from my skull, But Depression and I are joined at the brain. Smile Disappearing into a world that matches the hues of my insides. The thing they don’t tell you about depression is that it renders you mute, Convinces you that pride is an acceptable substitute for happiness, Performance a replacement for living. Depression tells me I’m being dramatic. I am screaming “HELP ME” in desperate silence, and all you see is a Smile.

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