Month: November 2021

This is Where I Leave You

This is where I leave you

Nestled in a soft piece of earth

No words hung in the air between us.

I leave you soft,

Departure without much sound.

Im always bursting with words,

But this doesn’t need any.

Your words were what you meant,

I just couldn’t hear it in action.

No reason needs to be hung across the suspended words without interlocking verbs.

I chose my own.

My unbridled hopes for you never choreographed how I moved.

I carried hollow wishes that made my feet heavy as I still trekked forward.

Hope stopped feeling like iron boots a while ago.

Now, its almost nothing.

some gossamer I lay beside you.

I’m not sure if its leaving when I was never claimed,

Just that this is the spot,

a tender spot,

where you become a permanent past tense.

We are an epilogue now,

no longer bound by the same spine.

I’ve sewn a new one,

A strong one.

It’s all mine.

Fit

Someone’s hometown is my lonely city—

An assembly of digits assigned to an arrangement of streets

Lets some lungs release in relief.

The same place is where another body sinks at the sight of it.

I didn’t know that life wasn’t just a ride inside a sinking body until my dashboard met the skyline of where I belonged,

Until my lungs relaxed

Even my insides understood belonging when it arrived.

The Way I Remember informs my capacity to dream

I never remembered it all as that bad.

Rummaging through intrusive thoughts piled so high they form a skyline in my brain

is the last thing I want to do,

but the words find their thought— separated at birth and now reuinited.

My interiority oscillates between relieved and an identity crisis. Disorganization is the only permanent state of affairs.

Eyelids sinking like a curtain call on my frazzled brain,

this unexpected labor drains hours out of every day lately.


But in feeling, knowing, naming all the ways life wasn’t good to me for a really long time,

Being able to take only the blame of what I did and not what was done to me—

Im learning how good life can be,

how good I deserve life to be for me.