5.5.20

Right now

All I want

Is to breathe deeply, and let the universe have its way with me.

PTSD

The hardest part wasn’t surviving it, but convincing my brain that it’s over.

Vilification

A false idol only knows how to go crashing down in flames.

Enneagram 2

The broken and healed parts of me meet where I help others.

The Mushy Poem

Every person I ever loved tells me I compliment them too much, that my tongue is an infinite unraveling spool—thread words sewing the few inches between us. I don’t know …

Feels

My feelings have whole lives I’ve never let them live out.

 

Words of Affirmation

Funny how powerful is the highest compliment for a man,

and a liability for women.

Pro-Life

I am more incinerator than incubator.

Emotional Hail Mary’s

All too often, I am the recipient of posthumous affection–
An affirmation arriving way too late.
These are not love letters but obituaries,
More eulogy than sonnet.
“I love you”s are epitaphs to my ears.
They don’t understand that their words don’t adorn me—
They collect dust in a moseleum.
I want a love with as much life as I have,
With a pulse
And sweat,
And better timing.

Prayer

I hollow my head of every cluttered though,

allow a higher power in.

“Soon,” I am assured, “Soon”.

With every repetition, the knot in my throat passes.