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A list of 2019 lessons I’m carrying into the next decade
A list of 35 “lessons” from a twenty-something.
Opinion: I don’t think one-sided love is as uncommon and embarrassing as people think.
Séances are used to make contact with the dead. I’m not using it in the literal sense so much as I am applying it to our past selves. We’re so … Continue reading A Séance for Past Selves and Mistakes
On being myself before I am anyone else’s or anything else.
I should be proud to love my body, but I’m not 100% there.
I’m a messy broad, and I’m done hiding it or saying sorry for it.
When did the standard for a successful night include going to bed regularly at 10:30 pm? Because that’s where I’m at. I’ve learned that the metric for my place … Continue reading My Twenties are Trash: A List
Our relationship to pain– how we react and respond to it– changes everything.
This idea ruminated in my mind from the moment I saw it. My thoughts latched onto this because I don’t have a healthy relationship to pain. I avoid it at all costs until I come into contact with it. Once agony and I collide, I can’t let go. My stubborn perseverance encourages me that there’s some prize for enduring the most pain. It’s a fool’s prize– the one given to marginalized people as an incentive for their silence.
But pain is a cat burglar. Denying it entry only motivates it to break a window, infiltrate a vent, wind itself inside a hiding place just long enough to jump out and scare you when you’ve convinced yourself pain is long gone.
What if I were open to aching? What if I acknowledged the thief as it entered? These aren’t solutions. Then again, these days, I’m no longer in search of the answers. I just want to ask better questions. We weld questions so complicated that the simplest answers become out of reach.
For now, all I can do is become a doorway and witness to my own discomfort. I seize my right to arrest my pain by acknowledging and addressing it. I’ve spent too long being a bystander in my own suffering.